#36 On Friendship

I remember the first time I met Sister Elaine Herold. I was a new employee in the substance abuse unit in the fall of 1990 when I began my work at Midlands Hospital. I was to write and coordinate the Codependency Program. My boss introduced Sister Elaine to me. My first words to her were: "I hate nuns!" She has told me over the years that she knew at that moment we would be great friends! That is just a wee bit of wisdom and humor that permeates Sr. Elaine's heart and soul. At that time, arriving from my home in Minneapolis, Minnesota, I had 11 years of Recovery, but I had still not found a loving Higher Power, (as is the lexicon) in the Recovery Community, or any GOD of my understanding. I hated GOD; and I surely hated anything to do with Catholicism and/or especially, NUNS!! When I found out we would be working together one day a week I was dismayed. What did a nun have to offer addicts etc. I was about to find out. What I began to notice is that EVERY TIME Sister Elaine walked in the room there was a sense of peace and gentle understanding that every client, (over 100+), felt...and with great embarrassment...so did I. I asked her one time what was her "technique," (surely I could imitate her). She stated that as a chaplain one carries the "mantle" of GOD...that a "religious" is often the last resort to broken hearts and souls...like us addicts. I still really didn't understand but weekly I viewed her impact on everyone who was lucky enough to have contact with her. Each week I would stuff her full of chocolate before group, and metaphorically be at her feet, (like our patients), learning that we all have a place in GOD's arms. She taught me about a "God with skin on," because she surely was for so, so many of us, (and still is), throughout the years I have been blest to know her. After our unit closed at the hospital, I started my own small counseling business; never really made enough to support myself, but frequently Sister Elaine would come and sit in on my groups--without pay, with a long commute--and with her usual generous charm and kindness. I don't know if I ever really thanked her for those times she volunteered to help. It was a sorrowful time in my life--on so many levels--but somehow she followed God's "nudge" and helped alleviate my fear and loneliness. I closed the business within the year and began the rest of my career working for various other agencies. Sister Elaine and I remain in close contact; I visited her frequently in Des Moines Iowa, and then at her present job situation in Lincoln, NE. I still stuff her with chocolate every chance I get, we still go to the dumbest movies--her laugh makes everyone in the theater laugh even more, we still cry together, watch rerun after rerun of Seinfeld, and talk of the mysteries of GOD's tender grace, of life itself, and the general state of the human condition. As I write this tears come to my eyes...for that NUN has become one of my dearest friends and greatest of teachers. Oh, and I almost forgot...I too, am now a chaplain, (GOD has such a sense of humor), working with substance abuse clients. And not a day goes by that I don't thank GOD, (Sr. Elaine taught me to believe in our gentle, loving Creator), for Sr. Elaine! For in my rudeness to her of so long ago, she saw that "Divine Spark" that had been almost extinguished...and she sweetly blew that breath of the Holy Spirit back into my heart...and made ALL things brand new--once again.