# 3 Hot August Nights
Many years ago I sat with a beautiful young woman who did not want to see me. I was the chaplain at a substance abuse half-way house where she was a client. We sat there for--what seemed like hours-- just side by side that hot August night. Me wondering what I could say to her that "would make a difference," and her "reckonings" to this day I could not say for sure. But she did not leave my side. And there we sat. Years later I now work with this woman as a colleague--she is still beautiful, and now very successful, and yet another Hot August night issue has once again surfaced in her life. And once again, I am not sure what to say to her. But shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart I suspect she will once again find her sacred way. Perhaps it is just in the sitting --that side by side gesture that permits each of us to find the meaning in our lives. No words, no reflection, just the cadence of shared breathing, and the grace-filled humidity of a summer night.
Comments
Just to know that there is one person who cares enough, for that moment at least, that you are alive.
As you said in your posting, it is not the words that are said to the friend in pain. It is in the "being" of the friendship. The listening ear, the unconditional support, the implied message of "you do not have to do this alone" and "you matter to me and are worth my time". No amount of money, or drugs or sex or "objects" can replace the warmth of one human caring for another without expectation of anything in return.
Many years ago I sat with a woman, who i had never met, for hours, on a couch, in a place I didn't want to be. I did not want to meet with her, because she was a chaplain, and I had had my fill of people of the "religious persuasion". Thanks but no thanks. She knew how I felt...yet she stayed with me...and listened...and my heart softened...and maybe because I seemed to matter to one person, I felt a teeny bit of hope. I was that woman...on that "hot August night". Today I do not feel alone---and I feel cared about...in the same way as many years ago, I know that regardless of my "feelings" of emptiness, someone (now several someone's)care enough to just "be" with me.
How very grateful I am.
im